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Time Takes a Breath MAG
February 27, 2009
I sit with my feet up on the dashboard,
music bursting from the speakers in rhythmic little puffs,
windows rolled down just enough so I can dangle my left hand over the edge.
I can faintly hear the wind pecking at the cracks on the door,
sending the puddles of water on the ground into frantic ripples
and propelling crackled autumn leaves onto my car windshield.
I close my eyes and listen to the storm battering around me,
enjoying the balmy sensation of the car vents breathing hot air,
warming my skin despite the bitter cold outside.
For once I have nowhere to be, no deadlines to meet, no class to rush to,
and so I stay here just a little while longer while the world races on around me.
© Kristine M., Indianapolis, IN
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This article has 231 comments.
DaveyWavey;] said...
on Jan. 11 2010 at 8:25 am
I really enjoyed this piece. Your choice of words was beautiful. As I was reading this, I put myself in your shoes and really began to feel the magic of the situation.
...PensiveGurl... PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 8:33 pm
I liked how descriptive the poem was. It's really beautiful. I can see why it was put in the magazine >.<
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 2:05 pm
Wow that's so good. A lot of times I like to put simple things to words and make them magical like you did. Very impressive.
Curly_Sue said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:20 pm
Wow. Really really good. It makes an ordinary situation seem magical.
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:25 pm
wow i luv this poem. sets a kOoL different perspective that many can relate 2. gr8 job :)
anikasaurus BRONZE said...
on Nov. 28 2009 at 8:23 pm
So simplistic, yet saying exactly what it needs to say. Thumbs up.
PalindromeGirl BRONZE said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 5:10 pm
you did a really excellent job of showing feeling in this piece. i loved how calm it was, kudos! my one critique is that at points it was a bit prose-y. but in general great poem!!!!
Breakdancegrl SILVER said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 5:07 pm
Luv it, beautiful
naya_123 said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 10:59 am
i looooove this story geze its awesome
Cady said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 9:11 pm
I loved it and i thought it was pretty good because you didn't say what you tell that you were in the car. It was great. I liked it.
jFerragonio said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 8:47 pm
This poem vividly expresses a clear picture in the readers mind. It allows you to feel and picture what is going on. I loved when the speaker said, "I can faintly hear the wind pecking at the cracks on the door, sending the puddles of water on the ground into frantic ripples and propelling crackled autumn leaves onto my car windshield." This clearly expressed that wind is blowing against the car, water makes splashes as the car drives over it and crackled autumn leaves brush against the windshield. That statement makes a descriptive picture in my mind. All around I enjoyed this poem and thought it was very well written.
Griecon said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 5:57 pm
This is such a great poem! I really can feel like I am sitting in the car while being smothered in cold are, then warm air shoots out and you feel relieved. Then how you explained that you were in your own little place for a few moments in time where nothing matters and you can relax before joining the busy world again.
CherishFaithIsRad said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 4:53 pm
ok so wow you definitely write with your soul. Its true. We usually have so much to worry about. Unlike when we were younger and the biggest priority we had was to have fun, and the worst part of your day was you had to wait on the grass while you let your friend ride your bike. Drinking capri suns. Well. I can not wait till the day i can feel what you are writing about to the fullest. Only then will i truly live....
:)
-Cherish Faith.
:)
-Cherish Faith.
kamenice said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 4:05 pm
This is one of those poems where you just feel comfortable, because even though I'm not there, I can imagine myself sitting in the car and just relaxing. You create a sense of freedom when you say "For once I have nowhere to be, no deadlines to meet, and no class to rush to..." It makes me wish that i could do the same and just relax and do nothing. Good Job.
RadioShower PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 2 2009 at 1:56 am
interesting! Sounds like something i would be doing!
cheyenneduhon PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2009 at 8:06 am
I loved it! Lets just say we Texans know how to write!!
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