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you saw me
I built my walls of sand and salt
They stood tall around me, but you had to be the ocean.
When your tides came they dissolved to nothing,
left me bare.
You saw me
as I am
twisted up, warped to inner disfunction
broken elbows, scraped knees,
sore tendons, and
black bruises on a mangled heart.
Alone in this visible silence
and with the sand gone I could breathe.
You saw me, every lie, every "I'm okay" and "I'm fine"
You broke the foundation
of my unfinished facade
You saw every winter,
every tear, every shattering grasp at breath.
Every sidewalk crack, in the darkness of my skin.
You saw me walk with ice in my bones,
laugh with acid in my veins.
You watched me hold on for dear life
only to lose to myself again
And you did nothing to help me
You nicknamed me "Lost Girl"
and my story became the subject of your poetry
because rather than help me stand
you would like to watch me suffer
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