Ingredients
4 Pigs
One can of black spray paint
200 pounds of Corn and food scraps
Muddy yard
Mound of hay
2- 2x4’s 5 feet long
1- 2x4 4 feet long
1 tarp 4 x 8 feet
Couple of nails
2 stakes

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This is a recipe for a guaranteed suspension from school as well as a way to brighten anyone’s day.
Start with your 4 pigs that you can buy at a farming store or food mill.

You are going to be raising the pigs for about a month because piglets are exhilarating to play with.

Pound the 2x4’s into the ground 4 feet apart from each other and nail the 4 foot 2x4 on top of the vertical 2x4s to make a cross bar.

Nail the tarp to the cross bar and pull tight at a 45 degree angle.

Pound the stakes in the ground where the tarp ends and nail the tarp to the stakes.

Release the pigs into the shelter area (fence isn’t required for this but recommended).

Feed the four pigs 20 pounds of corn per day for 10 days until ready to start stage one.

When stage one comes and you have ran out of food, put the piglets in the back of your car and drive to school. When school starts, you will paint the number “one” onto the back of one piglet with the black spray paint, the number “two” onto the back of another, skip number 3, and do the same to the other piglets with the numbers “four” and “five”.

Release into the hallways and because the pigs are young, they will be afraid of other people and run wild. (Wonder why we skipped the number 3?)

Finally when the teachers realize that there are pigs running wild, they will attempt to catch all them, and when they see the numbers on the backs, they will realize that number three is missing, and the search will continue. (Little do they know, there is no pig with the number three!)

For a guaranteed suspension, tell all your friends that is was your idea and you did it so that word will spread and the only response appropriate will be a suspension!