I wonder if you remember when I started calling you mom

Crooked hugs were always our specialty
But this time it was different
Edges and edges
Of hands and knees
Sleepless nights
I dragged with me
Up the stairs

Your side of
The closet was
Empty
And at the foot of your bed
Sat three
Black bags
Filled with sweaters I always
Wanted to borrow
Black wedges
And
Turtlenecks

Suddenly
My lungs were not
My lungs anymore
Instead
They were two
Rusted mufflers
Old
Raspy
And out of breath

My hands were there but I
Could not feel with them anymore
And what replaced them
Now were
Two
Paper boats
And I never understood
Why

My feet felt for the floor
My edges felt for yours

I reached for you
And my paper boats tore into
Pieces before me

Everything I had ever
Touched had lost
Something

But
I slept in your bed last night

I lay in the dark and
The sheets were crooked
Beneath me
I looked to make sure the corners
Were lined with the edges and edges
Of hands
And hugs
And then I felt the
Flannel loosen

I felt you sink in my chest
With paper boats
That finally became my hands
I felt turtlenecks
and
Lined with worry upon every
Glorious edge

I felt you holding me