Years ago

when the only thing that bothered me

was when the building blocks were 

already being played with

I remember that little boy

the brother with the dark brown hair

his ebony crown

opposite from our fair ones

Always giggling

blue eyes sparkling

smiling little cherub

even when older siblings got jealous

No jealousy remains now

the only face I now see is in

photographs

faded images

That night is forever

ingrained in my mind

Already in bed by eight

I was forced back into reality

the crash that echoed

in the small house

the pounding of running feet

the blinding light

jolting me awake

The memory of the fifteen month old

on the floor, 

in the hospital bed,

in the coffin,

surface

I look at the black stone

remembering everything

I leave the flowers

and turn away

Walking from the pain

working to block out the 

memories

that will always remain for me.