I have a superb new cap,
It came in white bubble wrap.
I know you’ve never seen nothin’ like this cap in your life before.
How wonderful it is to have a fantastic ‘lil cap,
How wonderful it is to not look like an old sap.
How wonderful, indeed, to know everyone will finally be so envious of me.

Maybe it was worn by a singer or a writer or a poet,
I think it has a rip, but I’ll just get my mom to sew it.
Oh cap, oh cap how lovely are thee, with rivets and buttons and clasps of glee.
This cap gives me special powers, I know it really does,
This cap lets me fly around and sing and buzzzzzzzzz
This cap it can do amazing things, the hat vendor even said it would give me wings!

I know I have the finest cap of them all,
In fact, I might just wear it to senior ball.
I know everyone else at school will be extremely jealous of me.
It will give me popularity and heart and character,
It will give me my dream girl, I always stare at her.
It will give me the strength to do anything I ever wanted to do.

I will wear my cap to the baseball game
Just to show it off, everyone will go insane
I know my cap and I will never be apart from one another.
I love my superb new cap, I really do,
Nothin’ is ever takin’ away what we have, it’s true.
What is this? It can’t be right... everyone at the game,
Their superb new caps are all the same!