Coming home from school I threw my bag on the floor and stormed into the kitchen. I wretched open the refrigerator door and searched in a blind frenzy for my sweet, succulent treats. For seconds upon seconds I searched. Finally I found my prize and slammed the door shut. In a crazed flurry, I ripped open my box and sank my teeth into the taunt skin of my strawberries of madness.

Light,
Warmth,
Happiness.



As flavor burst forth into my mouth, sensations assaulted my mind.

Madness
took hold of my brain.

Happiness and joy
invaded the forefront of my mind. The

Shadows
in the dark recesses of my head were being violated by

Bliss and jubilation.

Courage,

Compassion,
and other sickly pleasant thoughts tainted the bittersweet juices from the plump red receptacle.

It. Was. Maddening.
Laughter gushed from my mouth in a cascade of

Confusion.
The dark, murky whirlpools of my mind were being ravaged by the light swirls of

Euphoria.
As the destruction of my mind was being played out, a violent stream of memories overtook my mind.


The sun.

Youth playing.

The nice cool breeze through my hair.

Then.

The teasing.
Being surrounded.
The jeers of ridicule.
Eyes desperately searching.
Insults flowing from pretty faces.
No escape.
Pokes and jabs.
The butter of shame slathering on me.
Meticulously manicured hands slapping and punching.
No hope.
Kicks and stomps bruising my skin.
Why was this happening?
Peals of psychotic laughter encircling.
I deserved this?
Beatings.
I deserved this.
Heels spearing my skin.
The sun turning to roses.
Scissors cutting waist length hair.
Shadows creeping into the edges of my head.
More Laughter.
I welcomed the darkness.
Clothes tearing.
A bittersweet blanket of midnight.
Dripping flowers of red.
Choking on the mayonnaise of anger.
Phones capturing me.
I deserved this.
No.
They deserved it.

Night fell.

I collapsed onto the counter. Pain bursts into my head. No one had been there to care for me at the hospital or police station. White noise replaced my senses. I felt nothing. I looked around at my surroundings. My eyes landed on a half destroyed carton of strawberries. In my frenzy to get one of my sweet drugs, I had smashed the rest.

Sighing, I threw away what was left of my precious little addictions. Drained, I leaned against the doorframe. The after affects of my adrenaline rush and sensation stimulants were making me feel as if I had drunk the soup of weariness. I slowly made my way to my room, relying heavily on the walls to support my tainted body. I sank into the deep crevices of my bed.

Jealousy took hold.
What had I done?
People around me were blinded by the light.
Joy.
Happiness.
Passion.
They all seemed so foreign to me.
Why had everyone else’s’ trees flourished
While mine refused to grow?
Perhaps, it was because they were raised
On the oranges of happiness.
I had no one.
The milk of annoyance
Dripped from my eyes.
Nobody had bothered to care for me.
They all had someone to care for.
Putting me off for somebody else to care for.
Never taking responsibility.
They all shared the bread of passion equally
But never even allowed me the crumbs
I had no one.
They all walked past me,
Absorbed in their own age of ignorance.
Closing my eyes
I curled into my blankets.
At least they cared for me.

As ravens surrounded me, I plunged into my burrito of depression.