nothing... | Teen Ink

nothing...

March 30, 2014
By ansem_unlimited PLATINUM, Frederick, Maryland
ansem_unlimited PLATINUM, Frederick, Maryland
33 articles 0 photos 140 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thou may think of me as desired, to idolize or villanize me whichever you may choose. but gaze upon me and thou sall not see the husk of a man! for all my sins and all my bliss, i am anything but hollow <br /> -Ansem_Unlimited


My chest feels heavy, my mind shutters at every shadow, my vision jumping from each corner, each wall, and each room, scanning for the chance of life. I hold my breath, counting the seconds that pass, each minute, each hour, each day meaning nothing to me, for no matter how long I counted the second, and glared at the clock… the sun could come crashing down, and to me… it could still be night. I hold my breath, and count the seconds, and hope to hear the sound of someone new. The thought of a host in such an abyss echoed in my hollow heart, ricocheting in my very core. One, two, three… but still no one is there, but who was I to expect? Who would come to see the lonely man who counted the seconds? Whom I may ask? A bell that would not ring a lock too rusty to turn, and a door too dusty to tempt anyone to knock on it, surely there was no one for me to expect… four, five, six… my face grows hot, my lungs shrink, and I gasp loudly releasing my breath. “Holding your breath is all fair and good” I would say, “but breathing quietly is much, much easier”. And so I did, I breathed so quietly that even the mice felt challenged to match my soft breathing. I then began to wonder; “where am I? In this room that is… am I by the book shelf, am I on the couch, perhaps I’m about to take a nap… I wonder if I’m sitting down, or standing up, or lying down by chance…” I feel so still, that my legs could not remember when they were last crossed, my throat so chap, that it could not recall the last note it sang, a piano collecting dust, an oven brittle cold, and a fridge lukewarm. As if there was no life in this little room, as if in this moment, in this second, I was not at all. “Not at all” what? You may ask, well simply not at all, like I’ve faded into the paint, or vanished into the floor boards. Whatever or wherever I was, I wasn’t there, for once I saw a piece of the world as if no one existed, as if I wasn’t anywhere to begin with. For all I know no one else existed either. I feel heavy and hollow… and I begin to choke on the heavy apple of nothingness.


The author's comments:
This poem is a result of a little bit of “creative experimentation”. The setting is completely literal, it takes place in a lonely room, with a lonely person, who’s so lonely that he doesn’t know if he’s sitting or standing! This poem isn’t about me, it’s more of about that heavy feeling you get in your throat and/or your stomach when you’re alone in a room with nothing to do. Little things seem big, and big things seem little. It may be a bit Louis Carrell-ey, but rest assured that it is 102% Ansem! This poem could mean absolutely everything to some people and to others absolutely nothing, it could be taken literally or figuratively, it’s all up to you! Happy reading, yours truly
~Ansem_unlimited

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This article has 2 comments.


on Nov. 21 2014 at 10:32 am
ansem_unlimited PLATINUM, Frederick, Maryland
33 articles 0 photos 140 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thou may think of me as desired, to idolize or villanize me whichever you may choose. but gaze upon me and thou sall not see the husk of a man! for all my sins and all my bliss, i am anything but hollow <br /> -Ansem_Unlimited

thankyou, I also enjoy reading your pieces. :)

SilverLiner said...
on Nov. 21 2014 at 7:13 am
SilverLiner, Accra, Other
0 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;uhhhhhhhhh...&quot;

this is AMAZING! God, i love it! you're a lovely writer, truly, you are... *thumbs up*