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Goodbye
It’s funny,
How simple things,
Can shape one life.
My life.
A corner in a room.
A picture on the wall.
Late nights in bean bags,
Watching movies on the big screen.
Granite counters.
Winding stairs.
Famous Amos cookies.
Fruit roll-ups.
And love.
So much love.
Goodbyes aren’t easy.
This one nearly killed me.
Houses can be homes,
This I know.
A place that will always,
Be there.
I can still see that wall.
The one with all our signatures,
And drawings.
From years ago.
Or the plaque on the wall.
You know,
The one with the noses
Of my uncles and aunts and my dad.
I’ve had many houses
In many places.
But my home,
Wasn't any of those.
That house
That home
Was always ready to
Greet me.
Love me.
Comfort me.
Envelope me.
A place for me to be me.
But now,
That place is no longer there.
No, no, no.
It is there.
It’s just not mine.
Not anymore.
It was sold,
Like a piece of jewelry.
Or a piece of furniture.
Something that has invaluable value,
That no one sees.
Or understands.
It’s hard not to feel.
Feel bitter.
Feel sad.
Feel anger.
Mixed feelings.
I know how that is.
I want to forget.
I want to remember.
How can I express,
Everything inside of me.\\
Like a bomb,
Ready to blow.
Goodbyes aren't easy.
This one nearly killed me.
Just a thought,
Transports me back.
To snowball fights,
Planned productions,
Sunday dinners
And the sweet joy of family.
It wasn't even my house.
But it was.
It was all of ours.
Ours.
The day I said Goodbye,
Is imprinted in my mind.
Like a forever frozen footprint
Stuck inside my head.
I remember the tears.
I remember the laughter.
I remember the pictures.
I remember it all.
But,
I forget the smells.
I forget the touch
Of everything.
Goodbyes aren't easy.
This one nearly killed me.
But I’m not dead.
At least, not physically.
Emotionally though,
Is another story.
A part of me died that day.
One I can’t get back.
But I’ll move on.
I won’t forget.
I won’t remember.
I’ll survive.
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