I let the liquid hit my lips
Snake down my throat
Till it burn and stings
And my mouth becomes numb.
-I cannot feel you anymore darling.

I will drink until I ache
If it means forgetting you.

And I can feel my vision become hazed
Can you hear the sloppy slur of my words against the floor?
As you tell me I’m a fool
Well I know I am darling,
And really this is no surprise.

But I cannot do this, I don’t want to feel
Things for you, that rip me up inside
And place me like a doll in the palm of your hand
Obscure it, obliterate it
Will you do that for me?

One more drink please,
Just one more swig,
And you morph into a mirage
How dare you
Walk away from me.

Shouting won’t help
But we both do it anyway
Loud words that pierce into my skull
I am horrible, vile, appalling
And I can’t stop.
The things that fall out of my mouth,

You push me
Well I always push you back dear
You scream that you are above this
But I don’t think that I am,
I could do this all night.

Oh and I’m sorry my darling
How I recoil with self-rage when I wake up
Heavy head, heavy heart
Crumpled bed sheets
Black eyes.

I’ll stop one day,
Is the empty promise I’ll make every morning.