For years, perfection defined me.
Failure never crossed my mind,
only known to do good,
many admired me.
I never thought making one mistake
could affect every aspect of my life.
I took on a new persona
no longer a role model,
no longer strong.

One day, Failure comes
welcoming himself-
striking me like lightning,
leaving me paralyzed, fearful.
My brain shuts down
while failure murders every single happy thought
prancing about in my mind,
replacing them with thoughts of disappointment, shame.
I could see the whole world darkening,
clouds turning grey,
flowers wilting in the dying earth,
rivers stopping their flow,
the sun hiding in a permanent eclipse.
I felt failure's shadow beginning to follow.
I can never rid of him,
I have no chance to abscond.
He trails me like a lost puppy
eternally attached by a leash of pain.
At the early rise of the sun,
he stands and waits by my bedside.
At the shimmering light of dark night,
he sits close,
flashlight in hand.
My own self diminishes
little by little.
All happy thoughts
becoming immediately terminated,
a cloud of unspeakable remembrance
blocks each ray of sunshine.
Every action I make mimics the shadow,
like a puppet of unforeseen fate.

Knowing I soon will have a fresh start,
he convinces me he will stay.
Thinking his torture has finally ceased,
a loud whisper assures me, "This is only the beginning."
The damage goes on,
the depression stays inside,
my memory erased of all and any
ideas of perfection.
Mistakes stamped
onto my once flawless résumé of life
drive me to tears
each time I see them.
This new life proving to be a challenge,
like an elderly walking without a cane,
as I continue to trip over mistakes
I haven't tripped over before,
trampling over the smallest pebble.
As difficult as it seems,
my shadow will always stay real as I do,
ready to attack when I least expect it.