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Games

May 19, 2012
By CelestaCuffrig GOLD, Loveland, Colorado
More by this author
CelestaCuffrig GOLD, Loveland, Colorado
11 articles 1 photo 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Inspiration is only as enlightening as you are open to it."

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I avoid a wall and run into a door
I jump over a step and trip on my own two feet
I overcome a hill, yet hit the base of a mountain
And I finally make the finish line, but come in last place

It’s a game
A rigged race that can’t be won
It’s the laugh of defeat deafening your ears
An understanding that getting by is better than getting nothing

I’ll trip, traipse, run, scream, and get by all I can
But when a moment shatters
And a day is done
I’ll still be getting nothing

© Maria H., Cincinnati, OH

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 6 comments.

theatregirl PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 27 2012 at 9:03 pm
theatregirl PLATINUM, Lathrup Village, Michigan
30 articles 12 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;To thine own self be true,&quot; -from Hamlet, a play by Shakespeare.<br /> &quot;I have sworn on the altar of god eternal hostility against all forms of tyranny over the mind of man.&quot; - Thomas Jefferson

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I like work, it was nice engertic and short to the point. However, it could use a bit more flow, and rythmn. ITt free verse, but even free verse poem must contain some rythm even if it simplistic. Otherwise, it was great! Could like at mine new one The hiding place? I really enjoy, I hope you keep writing
kate12345me GOLD said...
on Jul. 28 2012 at 10:58 pm
kate12345me GOLD, Sydney, Other
11 articles 0 photos 69 comments

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&quot;Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.&quot; - Thoreau<br /> &quot;Sometimes you&#039;re flush and sometimes you&#039;re bust, and when you&#039;re up, it&#039;s never as good as it seems, and when you&#039;re down, you never think you&#039;ll be up again, but life goes on.&quot;

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Nice work...definitely could use a bit more smoothness...but still quite enjoyable. I read your comment on Confessions of a Cult Member, and decided to check out some of your work :) If you want, check out some of mine? But again, nice work...just improve the flow and it would be fantastic!
Rain. SILVER said...
on Jul. 24 2012 at 7:19 pm
Rain. SILVER, Beechhurst, New York
7 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
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Wonderful piece, of work, I love the last line! Keep writing, you're obviously doing a great job. 
Lacer GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2012 at 6:58 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

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Hum, you could focus on the idea of it being a cruel game, like something that shouldn't be taken seriously that is taken too seriously, or you can take it as the idea of a regular game, something that you don't take seriously, and doesn't matter in the end.

Of course those aren't the only two options, just the best I can come up with.

CelestaCuffrig GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2012 at 5:11 pm
CelestaCuffrig GOLD, Loveland, Colorado
11 articles 1 photo 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Inspiration is only as enlightening as you are open to it.&quot;

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Thanks so much (: I've been wrestling with this poem for a while... Not sure where I want it to go, ya know?
Lacer GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2012 at 1:40 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

View profile

Hum. It's an interesting poem, and has a good backing concept, however, it's lacking flow.

Try putting some rhyme to it, that would help. It would make the poem match the theme of a game, and you obviously have a good grip on what the game is and how some people are bad at playing it, so just put it to some rhyming, and it would be so much the better, and more fun to read!