I am Cindy Matthews
I see anger on my depressed family’s faces
I hear screams to stop the pain that sound like nails on a chalkboard
I feel nothing after I have a few drinks of vodka that’s as strong as steel
I am a coward and a drunk

I dream of helping my problematic son
I worry that if I speak out I will be beaten until I am black and blue
I want to stop living in constant fear of the one who’s supposed to love me
I hope that Circle Justice works for Cole
I am stronger and worried that it may be too late to help the ones that I have hurt

I understand the reason for my husband’s acts of violence
I try to get a divorce and be happy
I say that I want to have custody over Cole
I touch the scars that I have inflicted on my son
I am in high spirits and sober