Everyone says painless deaths are possible, they’re wrong. Maybe you feel no sharp dagger in the heart, not a bullet to the head, but there’s always the pain of knowing your leaving your loved ones behind. That they might be lost in the world without you to guide them. There’s the pain of knowing they will cry and grieve of your death, but you don’t want them to cry. There’s always some pain even if you don’t know it’s there. It seems invisible to our heart, an empty pit, but you just don’t know what the pit is. You can’t explain the feeling of pain when your not in physical pain. Sometimes, you just feel both, and that is the most painful way to die. Maybe by you, I mean I.

I know this because I think a lot about death. I think how I would like to die, because I know death won’t be too far away from me. Its stalking me and getting ready to pounce.

The closest way I could think of as a painless death was dying for someone I love, without fear. That’s just my opinion, and someone needs to know my opinion before I literally blow up.




The feeling when a dark hand seems to claw at your brave side happens to me. You want to accomplish something, but something’s holding you back.

Ever felt that way? When you just can’t do something? And then there’s someone who says, “ don’t say you can’t!”

Had the feeling you couldn’t hold the bloody trout you caught when fishing, because you‘re kind of wimpy? It’s your first time fishing and you just can’t stand to hold the bloody scaly, fish. Than a feeling comes when you can’t look at the fish, its gasping for air, calling to its loved ones goodbye, its life is fading away.

I feel like that fish.