Calling to attention the 20th anniversary get together
Of the Lonely Hearts Club!
Let’s see what they’ve done with their lives since graduating high school!
First up is Larry! He became a designer for Web TV!
Ladies he is still single, and yes, still overweight!
And next is Jonathan! Oh, we’re sorry, Jonathan couldn’t make it,
He committed suicide 15 years ago.
Richard’s here! Oh, sorry, he isn’t.
He got arrested for computer fraud.
And the popular kids: the star quarterback Steve Madison,
Who we said would be bagging our groceries in ten years.
Well, actually he got signed to a multi-million dollar contract with the NFL.
And Veronica from Drama!
Who never gave us the time of day,
Told us to get lost,
Remember how she was going to turn out to be a prostitute?
Well we were right!
. . .Sort of!
She just won an Oscar for playing one in a movie.
Oh! Here is an inspirational story!
Remember Derrick from AV Club?
His acne cleared up, and, oh,
Wait,
He just recently came out of the closet.
His wedding to Paul,
Who also just recently came out of the closet is coming up though!
You are invited!
Should we put down that you will be bringing a date?