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I've Got A Playlist
I’ve got a playlist
To explain how I feel
I use music
I don’t know how else to express in any other way
Exactly what I’m feeling
I’ll give you some examples
How I tell you I feel things
What Was I Made For
“When did it end?
All the enjoyment,
I’m sad again,
don’t tell my boyfriend,
it’s not what he’s made for...
What was I made for?”
I don't know what I’m supposed to do anymore
I used to be so happy
But then what happened?
I don’t know how to be happy
And I don’t want to burden anyone,
I’m not their responsibility,
What am I supposed to do now?
Mad At You
“Cause I think that it’s time I walk away
Before you start calling my name
Cause when you start begging me to stay..
It’s gonna be hard as hell
And, baby, you know me well
No matter what you do
I can never be mad at you
And you only love yourself
For me, there’s no one else
No matter what you do
I can never be mad, mad, mad at you”
I know I need to leave
Before you manipulate me
Cause you know I can’t say no to you
When it ends, it’s gonna SUCK
And you know me better than anyone
You know how to manipulate me
So I can't stay mad at you
But you’re so self-obsessed
I only love you no matter what,
No matter what you do
I can never be mad at you.
Die From A Broken Heart
“How does he sleep at night?
Mama, the nerve of this guy
To leave me so easy
Am I gonna be alright?
I wanna kick myself
For falling so hard
Mama, can you die
From a broken heart?”
He hurt me so bad
How is he okay with all of what he did to me?
How could he leave?
This is breaking me and I don’t know if I will be okay.
I can’t believe I was so stupid
For believing his lies.
Mama, can you die
From a broken heart?
This Is Me Trying
“They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here
Pouring out my heart to a stranger
But I didn’t pour the whiskey
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying”
Everyone thinks they know my struggles better than me
So I’ll choose an unhealthy way to cope and throw myself away
And I have a hard time controlling my anger
And there's lots of words that have spewed out of anger that I wish I could take back
I was so ahead of myself that I tripped over my own ego
Then I lost myself, left her behind
Now I overshare with people I don’t even know
But I didn’t cut.
So I hope you really know
That this is me trying.
Got it right
“I used to wake up, walk to school, wonderin’ where my life was headed
I know my dreams coming ‘cause I’m willin’ and I’m ready
Breakin’ in houses for the skrilla, I still regret it
Built this up from the ground, I protect so I’ma protect it”
I used to not know anything about myself, my life, or my future
But I knew I was ready and willing to do anything to get to where I wanted
Stole money for a temporary fix, I wish I would’ve done it differently
But I’m changed and I’m different so I have to protect my new self.
Basically what I’m saying is when I don’t have the words
Who does?
Billie
Noah
Gallant
Maddie
Tae
Taylor
Rod
Maybe no one else cares
But the people who are truly my muse
Everybody knows
But they have no clue that I’m even on the planet.
Is that a little destructive to my mind?
Possibly.
Are they going to continue to be my muse?
Yes, 100%, they will.
Why?
Because even if they don’t know me,
They make me feel like I’m not alone.
They are the ones who get me through the day
They are the ones who push me to do better.
What have I gone through that’s so bad I had to feel that way?
I’m mentally ill. Undiagnosed. Struggling. In the dark.
No matter how toxic the relationship is, I will always forgive him.
He broke my heart because I lost myself again and I don’t know where I went.
I’m trying so hard not to relapse or end everything, THIS IS ME TRYING.
I was lost, I was depressed, I was destroyed. But I picked myself back up and I’ll protect that.
At all costs.
Music is my love.
No one could do for me what music does,
No one could have a stronger emotional impact.
No one could measure up to music.
Music is my life.
When I don’t have the words to put on paper,
I’ve got a playlist.
When I don’t have the mental capacity to deal,
I’ve got a playlist.
When I don’t feel like I can do it anymore,
I’ve got a playlist.
When I think about running away, disappearing,
I’ve got a playlist.
For just about anything,
I’ve got a playlist.
So music will always top you.
Because I’ve always got a playlist.
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