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A Love That Never Leaves
Sometimes I see you at the park.
The park where we’d fish till the sun went down,
Till the training wheels on my bike turned brown.
Where the birds would grow quiet and wait in the trees,
As they all watched me laugh and sit by your side:
Counting the ripples
That sit in the water,
And all of the leaves
That spin in the wind.
Sometimes I see you at that park,
With your calloused hands,
And patient smile
That creases in the corners.
You're waiting there to wrap me up
In the blanket of your soft crackly voice
Repeating words of:
“I love you”
Sometimes I see you in grocery lines,
Wearing your favorite hat and big brown boots,
Buying the ice cream you promised you’d buy.
The ice cream we’d eat with plastic spoons,
With sticky smiles and happy eyes,
Speaking a million things without saying a word.
But maybe my mind was playing tricks,
Because it knows you don’t exist
And I know that you no longer go
Fishing in parks and driving in cars,
Walking through stores or hugging me close.
How silly of me to think that I’d see you
In parking lots or crowded streets.
How foolish of me to wait for your call
On my birthday night, or Christmas Eve.
How dare I pass by your old house
And wait for you to walk right out.
How foolish indeed
How foolish of me.
But is it really that foolish to pretend you’re still here?
Because in my heart, deep inside,
There’s a little girl who used to ride
Upon Abuelo’s shoulders up so high,
And that little girl
Wishes to see
Abuelo as more than a memory.
So when I see a little girl
Perched on the shoulders of her Abuelo,
Screaming and laughing because she knows she won’t fall,
I can’t help but think of us.
It’s like watching a film that I have seen
Displayed on an old grainy, tainted screen.
I am feeling my heart burn with jealousy.
I envy the girls who perch on the shoulders
Of Abuelos who love them with each ounce of their heart.
I wonder if they know how lucky they are
To be on the shoulders of someone so strong,
Who loves them so dearly, so gently, so true
Whenever I see it, I think of you.
Except it is all quite funny to me
Because although you are now just a memory
And no longer around to tell me you love me
I somehow feel it every day.
I know, I know, it’s silly of me
To claim I feel the love of a ghost,
From faded memories that come and go.
Except I swear I know it’s true,
And I know deep down dad feels it too.
Because when you love,
the way that you loved,
It is impossible for that love
To ever leave you.
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This piece is about losing someone you love, but always remembering all the love they once showed you, and being able to hold onto that forever.