I just want to hate you | Teen Ink

I just want to hate you

December 2, 2022
By Poet_inthe_Making PLATINUM, Bolivar, Missouri
Poet_inthe_Making PLATINUM, Bolivar, Missouri
28 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." -Philippians 1:6


I just want to hate you..


seeing your sleepy eyes

pretending I’m ok being friends

I hate this so much


I hate the acting

but I have to do it because 

Fake it til you make it, right?


I’ve been told that for so much more than heartbreak

but for this one heart that you broke

i can’t help but hesitate


how do I know that it will work

I know it hasn’t for the past 10 months

but I know it takes time


getting over you is one of the hardest things

that I’ve ever had to do

and it’s one that takes much longer than you think


loving you from naive age

to five years later

and finally you love me


and it only took ten days for you to fall out of love

even though it’s taking me more than that in months

so what made you love me in the first place?


was it because of my body or your desire to have a girlfriend?

was it a dare or peer pressure?

can you tell me what it was?


I hate looking at you and seeing what I wish was

I hate looking at you and seeing what I want

I want to look at you and see you


But to be honest, 

I don’t even want to look at you

I don’t want to see you when I do


why do you have to torture me?

why do you make me want to hold you?

you’re all I can think of when I go to sleep


I know you don’t see it

I know you don’t see how you affect me

but I know you know I miss you


can’t you just have some compassion for me

because seeing you talking to the Heather

is just as good as ripping my heart out of my chest and tearing it in two


How could you do it?

When you know how much I love you

When you know how much you mean to me 


Why would you do it?

I thought we would last

but I guess if I thought about it we were just too different


I hate having to lose you 

because all I want is to hold you 

but you want to hold her


and I said it was okay

because you like her

and you’re so much more similar


I never stood a chance

not when you could have the Heather

and not when you have her


I just want to hate you..



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