My feelings, my thoughts, my dreams.They consume me. Nobody knows how i feel, like for real, for real, and it doozies me. My feelings, my thoughts, my dreams, they scare me. I swear, every time I look around, somebody has beef or wants to compare me. To the popular girl or the pretty girl. I feel like their doing it just for fun. I want to hide. I want to run. Fly like a bullet. Shoot like a gun. Dark, no sun in the shadows, just done. Even though I continue to dazzle, continue to stun, I feel like 0, but everybody sees #2 , mayhaps #1. Like I don't have to option to ignore. I come to slay, ready for war. Ready for hate that lies before sucess, after I acheive that, I'm not worried about the rest. My heart is becoming hollow, I can feel it in my chest. I have always hated over - opinionated people, but I digress. This is coming from the bottom of my dying heart and abused soul, nonetheless. I consider myself prosperous in some ways, yeah, I feel blessed. Feel like nobody is deeply and truely proud of me, nor my adress. Feel like I'm never good enough, always have to impress. Always haveb to be the best. Nobody is perfect, everybody has  impurites. Now, I'm drowning in my own insecurites. I'm fraile, willowly, and weak. Like I'm trying to ghet back on my feet, yet on my knees. I may or may not be "good" or straight", I can't make no guarentees. You may or may not assume I have been to therapy before, didn't work out, I agree. Bolt away from the scene, get lost and flee. If life was a depression contest, I would be the top nominee. I feel all of the pressure in my way. I always have to work can't play games, can't play. You know, they say if you focus on tommorow, you'll never have a today. Words so simple, so easy to convey. My ambitions fall apart, fade away, my inconviences have power, evidently, well, at least that's what they potray. I feel bad, back - stabbed, betrayed. I think. I come to a conclusion. A finale to all of this confusion. I now know it was nobody was nobody else. I know what it was. It was me vs. myself.