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reminders of you
dear true love,
when was the last time I saw your smile?
was it months ago, or have you grinned all the while?
has it been hidden – from me –
I can see joy, bedridden in the folds near your eyes. but is it still meant for me?
or has enough time passed that when you look my way, it’s transparency?
I miss seeing you.
the everyday continuity is through, and I wish my rose-colored love was less freckled with blue.
so –
the rain is coming down in sheets. like pages of a book, waves of water flutter in the breeze. and it reminds me of you.
it was pouring when i saw her come down the street i was drenched in rain without mud and my car was out of sight there was no technology there no phones, no watches, no noise, even and yes, time seemed to stop for every moment we were together once again well they were treasured and deserved to be cherished with our whole hearts because she is so beautiful that everything stopped to look at her to look at both of us together and i know the sidewalks were slick with water but her eyes were wide and only held wonder no despondency was in sight because everywhere else i looked doom and gloom reigned supreme we fell into a rhythm it was in our nature natural in every single way because she smiled again and i couldn’t help but smile too because i saw now that those thin folds near her hazel eyes were truly really actually for me peace washed over us in waves along with the heat of the summer winds they tossed the rain right and left but kept us from hypothermia as we walked and it wasn’t what we talked about but it was how we talked every minute of it it was tranquil and kind unlike the rest of this cruel world which seemed to fade into the periphery as we talked for hours for our words were in the foreground and oh god i forgot but every moment with her just dissipates into shattered happiness but in the way that a block of ice when its dropped just becomes a memory of one icicle even though there are millions more to see it was like that it is always like that and it all faded so fast that i wasn’t quite sure i would get more time since it felt like there was so little already but she faced me and said in such a genuine tone thank you for that and my heart sped up as though it was revving its engine ready for its next race knowing there would be more and she extended her arms and i was cautious but relenting i fell into her embrace and her arms were timid but hopeful and i could feel the hope pulsating through her veins and i think she infected me with her hope because i can’t stop thinking about her her soft touch her lavender-scented hair the serenity in her hazel eyes because she is so beautiful and it was full of hope yes but also of security and it was comfort that couldn’t help but make you feel some kind of whole
dear true love,
already it feels like a distant memory.
how could a moment last forever but be so temporary?
this morning-after haze isn’t fading in the way that alcohol seeps out of your skin – no, you’ve intoxicated me to the bone.
remember? we talked, and now I’ve grown, and I want to share it all with you.
you’re all alone and you know, I’m alone, too.
that rainy milieu is forever imprinted in my mind, no matter the view in front of me.
when I’m with you –
if we can ever be alone again, me and you –
I’m back on that sidewalk, under the dripping trees, and
I don’t know
but that moment just felt too perfect to remain a memory.
it transects with reality and seeing those drenched streets protruding into today and your hazel eyes casting their sepia gaze over that dream –
it calms me.
it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t real.
it doesn’t matter what I feel,
because it’s for me
and you won’t see that
since we don’t talk
anymore.
did we ever before?
I could say that we did,
a moment here, a moment there –
and believe me, I still feel your stare
and it’s the same hazel,
holding me tightly with care –
but I think
I –
it was all colloquial
and I hate –
that dream has a date and
I hate
that you don’t remember it like I do
because you weren’t really there, too
how could you be?
if it was all in my mind
I suppose I should have known
a tryst like this would be harder to find
I just wanted
it to be
real.
oh –
why can’t it be real?
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in a response to reading the illustrated man, brave new world, and various other works involving a warped sense of reality, my english class was instructed to write about a "dream state." be it a coma, drunkenness, an actual dream...
my piece – this piece – is based on an actual dream i had and wrote down.