Why must I carry the heavy burden of knowing how financially draining I am?

Why do I have to be told how much money I’m wasting while still freaking out over exams?

I know I’m a burden, that I understand,

But why must I feel disappointed in myself- like I spent the money firsthand.

I know it’s just high school, but it costs as much as college,

But why must it feel like a race to gain more knowledge? 

I just want to not worry about money,

Nope- too late, they’re already talking about loans for college, honey. 

Can I go back to being oblivious about how much my schooling has cost?

I’m literally just a kid- this isn’t me- I feel lost. 

I’m not the golden child, please don’t make me out to be, 

Let me go back to being Bumblebee

I don’t need to go to a fancy school 30 minutes away, 

Can I go back to seeing color? Not just seeing grey?

Searching and entering any college scholarship opportunity I can find, 

They look for people who are smart and have potential, they don’t care if you’re kind. 

Writing essays, filling out applications for financial aid, 

Not my idea of a perfect day, if you’re offering, I’ll trade.

As a child, I wanted to go to a college far away and was told I was very bright,

Now, when I try to read a book, it feels like a fight. 

Gifted kid burnout plus poor family doesn’t equal anything good,

At least in my likelihood. 

Numbers aren’t my strong suit, but I can tell you this,

Don’t burden your children with finance, or you are amiss.