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Queen
Crazy;
How you guided me through the darkness when I was young.
But;
You simply taught me how to get used to the darkness you created.
My heart hurts, my stomach churns with each decision you prove unworthy of me to make;
when inside it feels as though you don’t trust me.
The weight on my shoulders only increased as time went by.
Me; not knowing why.
But you with the capability to put on more with just a simple word.
“No”
As if I wasn’t strong enough to pull my own weight and show you wrong.
But that word…
“No”
Made me weaker than I should be, cowering with every glance you chose to take at me.
Made me crumble at your knees, as if to say.
“You won.”
So for now, I shall kneel down as you look upon me as a weaker individual.
But once I leave this forsaken kingdom;
“Long live the queen”
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This is actually about my home life, although these feelings don't exist anymore. They were strong and present when I wrote this that night. But no matter what; now when I read this over again I can't help but feel like I am in debt to her. She loves me and will never stop, no matter if we fought she still feeds me. I was a bad kid growing up so these feelings are just anger and being selfish to think that I shouldn't be treated like this. But no matter what she was there for me through it all, I became who I am today due to her strictness and punishments. And I love her greatly for that and will forever be in debt to her.
An afternote I wrote when this was written:
" No matter the relationship someone has with someone else, you should never be treated like dirt waiting to be stepped on. Instead form like a rock and hurt those who step on you. Adults have wisdom through age and some of their experiences, but us growing up during these critical times, experience more mental wisdom than those older than us due to how we are raised and what we go through as well. We just have a deeper mindset to those older than us. Of course some of us haven’t matured yet, but those who have and actually use their wisdom and knowledge for good, adults won’t ever listen to them, due to them believing that we aren’t to be trusted or even given a glance to. "