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37
I eat too much ramen.
I eat too much in general.
I like to burn my skin a bit when it itches.
I have poor self control.
I drive too fast cause I like to feel the world pass me by.
I get anxiety when I’m coloring with color pencils because I feel it’s too slow and inefficient; markers are much better.
I like the idea of reading but am too lazy to actually read.
I pretend to know things I don’t. Yet I hate it when people pretend.
I hate anything that’s inauthentic, especially when it comes to forms of art or people.
I hate snobs, but I probably am one sometimes.
I waste so much time. There’s so much I feel that could’ve been accomplished had I not wasted so much time. I could’ve read so many books, maybe even have written some bad poetry or learned to code.
I’m very vulgar; that surprises people. Everyone’s vulgar and I hate those that pretend it’s not true.
I like Tarantino movies cause they’re vulgar; it makes them feel real even though they’re so bizzare.
I like people who tell the truth even when the truth stings.
I like it when people call me weird. It makes me feel different then everyone else.
I sway to music in my head that nobody else hears. It’s usually a classic rock song.
I love classic rock. Nothing’s more real yet more of a trance at the same time.
I love singers who write their own songs, it makes their music more meaningful and honest.
I watch movies that portray people as they are, not as we want them to be.
I love delving into the depth and darkness of humanity and what we’re capable of, both good and bad.
I don’t believe we’re all bad, just easily influenced by it.
I do believe we’re greedy and selfish, and so am I, and I hate it.
I love being the center of attention and when other people get to know me.
I love shocking people who assume things about me before meeting me.
I exaggerate my importance to other people to feed my ego. I’m ok with it cause it helps me cope; I’m not ok with it cause it’s not the truth.
I call myself a non-conformist when I’m really just the same as everyone else.
I want to help others, but I don’t have the power to make significant change. I’m afraid that when I do, I wouldn’t want to help others anymore.
I’m afraid of growing old. People get so selfish when they grow old.
Yet sometimes I feel old when I’m tired.
I’m probably not living enough; maybe it’s cause I’m lethargic, maybe it’s cause I’m a coward. I’m definitely a coward.
I want to do so much yet I never do anything.
I don’t know where I’m going so I’m scared to go anywhere.
I’m scared of trying and then failing.
I hate loneliness but I love being alone.
I wanna see the world yet I never really enjoyed traveling.
I’m just a hypocrite, a coward, and a pretender.
Yet also a dreamer, lover, and adventurer
And that’s as real as it gets.
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I feel that people are so dishonest in their college essays because they want to seem like a great person. I also know that I'll probably end up doing the same. But this "poem" is what I'd tell people who asked me to show them who I am as a person.