Blue, that’s all I remember. But that was all I needed to, the blue and the burning. The burning that came from my heart and spread all through my body. Pain generously spreading to every cell of my body, as if I were being burned and skinned, all at the same time. The more I think the more I remember. Bubbles, big bubbles in the frost-bitten blue drifted urgently away from me.

It’s strange, I’d always loved Cas, as a friend, ya know. But as he held me under, not willing to breath in, to gulp the precious air, greedily suck in the sweet oxygen I had to hate him. The water it was so cold, no air, no relief, but he had to do it. Or at least that’s what he told me, if he threw me in it would stop burning, failing to mention how I would stop breathing.

Now, naturally he didn’t say when or why. Why in the world he did it, or when for that matter. He said he didn’t want me to be anxious or know how he was going to do it. But the funniest thing is, was, I trust him or trusted him. I’m so confused because alls I can see the beautifully clichéd white light except its being blocked, obscured, stolen from me. Its all being stolen from me, or what’s left anyway. My visions already gone and I cant seem to, I cant seem to, I cant seem to, I ,I cant seem, I, I cant, to, it seams I can’t…