“Why me?” The question ran through my brain. Over and over, a never ending accusation to a deaf God. “Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why?” As much as I tried, the questions either would not or could not leave my mind. “Why?” It rang through my head like a church bell, echoing against my ears. Frustrated, I fell to my knees and screamed. The haunting noise escaped from my throat before I could stop it. When I was finally able to stop myself, it was too late. I knew without a doubt that he’d heard my piercing scream. The question wasn’t if he would come. It was when, and what he would do to me.

Sure enough, not even a minute after my scream, the man came down into the basement. He left the door open, letting the glorious golden-yellow light stream in. The beautiful beam blinded me temporarily, but after a few moments, I got my sight back. Even though I knew I was in for a beating, I rarely ever saw light. I savored every moment of it, along with the warmth that blew in from the main house. But I couldn’t enjoy it for long. He made sure of that. The man seemed to tower over me, and he reeked of cigarettes and beer. His coal black eyes glared at me. Even after nearly four weeks of being here, I still had yet to learn his name. Without warning, he pulled his hand back and slapped me across the face. The blow knocked me down, and disorienting colors swam in my eyes. My face stung. Before I could recover, he grabbed my throat and pulled me to the table. He pushed me again and strapped me down with the leather restraints I had watched him make just for me. Every time I tried to squirm and struggle, he would hit me with his whip, leaving angry red welts on my legs. Finally he stopped. “Shut up. If I have to come down here again, I’ll find him and kill him… right in front of you.”

My eyes grew wide with horror. Why, oh why did I even have to scream Zack’s name out loud in the first place? I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn’t have grown weak and called out for him. Now the man had someone to threaten me with. My life held no value compared to Jens’ life.

He couldn’t be hurt because of me. He just couldn’t. “No! Leave him alone, please! Hurt me, kill me, but don’t touch him!” I cried. I began to struggle again, the leather restraints digging into my wrists and ankles. I grew even more panicked. The man just laughed at my reaction, as if it were some joke. “Then be quiet, and maybe I’ll have mercy on him. Now, as for you, sugar… you still need to be punished.” He thought for a second, and I tensed up. He pulled a knife from his belt and cut my arm. I cried out in pain as the knife went deeper into my skin. “Let that be a lesson to you.” He laughed as he pulled his knife out and laughed even more when I screamed in pain. He took the restraints off of me and walked out of the cold basement and left me to bleed.

I looked at the latest addition to the collection of bruises and cuts that covered my body. It looked pretty deep. Drops of blood dripped onto the already blood-stained floor. I tore another strip of cloth from what used to be my jacket and wrapped it around the cut to stop it from bleeding. I tied it as tight as I could. It was weird how I was used to this. A horrible thing to be used to, I know, but it was the truth. At least now I knew that I had to control myself. I couldn’t let the pain or fear get the best of me. Not anymore.

If I wanted him to be safe, I had to. Life without Jens wouldn’t be life at all. If he got hurt because of me, or even worse, killed, I would never be able to forgive myself. It was a sin that would land me in the fiery pits of hell, of that I was sure. No matter what happened to me, I had to protect him. No matter what. Jens had to stay alive. He had to. That man had taken me away from everything that ever mattered to me. My family, my friends, my school. But he couldn’t take away my love. That he could never do. I wouldn’t let him, I couldn‘t let him. The memories of Jens and me was the only thing keeping me sane in the basement that acted as my prison.

I closed my eyes and saw his face. His beautiful, perfect face. I saw his pale skin, his straight, light brown hair that swayed to the left side of his face, his bangs nearly draping over his bright, clever, sparkling blue eyes. He smiled that sweet, breathtaking, amusing smile that won me over in the very beginning, when I’d first met him. I reached out for him, wanting to embrace him and kiss him again. To my pleasure, he started to reach for me too. His fingertips brushed against my cheek. I sighed in contentment. But before he could kiss me, he looked at something over my shoulder and his eyes grew wide with fear. My heart shattered as he disappeared into the shadows.

My eyes flew open as I came back to the horrible reality. There was a very big chance that I would never see him again. Only in my dreams. Or were the visions I had of him nightmares, taunting me of what used to be? They were beautiful nightmares, then, if that’s what they were. Thinking about him made me begin to hyperventilate. My lungs were crushing my ribs as the void in my chest grew heavier. I was suddenly exhausted from the pain the man had put me through in the past few weeks, as if he’d given me those beatings all at once. The pain shuttered through my body. I collapsed to the floor, shaking violently. I heard a girl gasping for breath in the distance. It took me a while to realize that it was me. No longer able to hold them back, the tears roll down my face and mix with the blood on the wood floor. Shaking with hurt and pain, I cried all through the night as my heart silently broke into a million pieces.