Spit It Out | Teen Ink

Spit It Out

December 11, 2018
By joelyjacqueline BRONZE, Fort Worth, Texas
joelyjacqueline BRONZE, Fort Worth, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The pain whispers to me, force feeding me their thoughts. An abundance of them. Each one as strong as the last, as vicious as the first. As excruciating as they could be. They clawed at me from the inside, desperately attempting to escape. Tears welled in my eyes, creating a blurry barrier between the world and myself. I would love nothing more than to let these creatures out; to free myself.

Scratches now. All over the inside of my body. They tormented me, burning themselves into my head, hoping -searching- for my heart. Though they screeched quietly, it was loud. Too loud. My ears would soon overflow with the buzzing of chaos, their opinions pouring out in a thick black I could never wash off.

I felt their claws slicing through on their way up my throat. An exit. Relief began to wash over me and my tears changed their mood. Almost there, their whispering blare increasing. Closer...closer...closer, my brain chanted quietly, drowned out until it was a singular, miniscule voice intertwined with all of the rest. A lonesome star in the forever hungry night.

The monsters halted abruptly.

My color drained as I looked into his eyes once more. They reminded me of oceans, each so vibrant yet steady that I could float in them always. I went to speak yet the monsters grabbed hold of my tongue, stealing it away from me. His face read confusion, searching for a confession from mine. But my lips, as well, obeyed the pain within. I knew he would leave me if I left my appearance as it was, blank faced, watery, and fallen. Oh, so far fallen that my skin hung from my cheeks.

I began to choke as they took refuge at the back of my mouth. They tasted strange, as if they were bitter, however, I couldn’t quite name the flavor. Air escaped yet none came back in. I gagged, over and over again. The pain controlled me, silencing the freedom I longed for. They piled up, closing me in, as if I hadn’t been already. It was too much. Everything began to spin, circling me in my chaotic state. The black had gone from my ears to my eyes, overwhelming my vision. I shook, standing on an uneven surface.

Nasia. Excruciating gagging. Both were familiar unwanted friends of mine. I felt them, the demons, crawling toward the tips of my lips. Filling my mouth, stealing my words; I had to be unbound. My silent mind began to roar, steaming with an overpowering hatred for my captors. It oozed in hopes of driving the madness away. And in an instant, I spit them out. Forcefully.

“I love you.”

For a chilled, still moment, I was unsure who had spoken. My eyes had remained dark. Yet, once they cleared, I realized that I was all alone, apart from the accompaniment of my words floating in the silence.


The author's comments:

I'm fifteen and wrote this while boycotting an English assignment....


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