It was one year and seven months ago when I met my fate. It smiled at me with delight and such a deep desire that I couldn?t help but desire it in return. Although it stood just feet from me, I felt as if was drifting off and I would never, no matter how fast I ran, be able to reach it. My fate stood in the form of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Her eyes were huge and her smile was nearly blinding as we stood in the sun. Her jeans, much to big for her petite frame, hung low on her hips. Her shirt clung close to her body with sweat and she slouched in a way that made it seem like she carried the weight of the universe on her shoulders. Within minutes of meeting her, I had wanted nothing more than to take that burden from her and make it mine own. I felt as if any shred of insanity I had held within me was now gone. I was lost in the eyes of a woman.

Falling in love is the most literal phrase I have ever encountered. I truly fell in love with this girl and the after affects were just a painful as any horrendous fall. I was a disaster and I couldn?t feel any emotion. Everything was nothing and everyone was no one. My hair began to dread as I refused to wash it and my teeth turned yellow as my toothbrush went unused. The clothes I wore began to reek as I refused to wash them. I slept for hours and hours and my voice grew hoarse as I refused to speak.

After months of struggle I began to find my strength. But no good story as a beautiful ending. A good story does have beautiful people, though.

She crashed landed into my world, much like my first love. Her bubbly confidence won me over in no time at all and her short and petite frame did nothing but make me smile wider than ever. Her full lips and incredible smile attracted my eyes and her eccentric personality and irresistible charm had me on my knees.

One night of pleasure is what I got from this woman. Older than I, she knew what she was doing, in every sense. Her arms wrapped around me and her lips intertwined with mine. I didn?t care who I was hurting or where I was. I just wanted to be with this girl forever.

Not everyone can handle a thing as intense as a relationship and after these two years of rigorous struggle, I have realized that, that is who I am. I will never be with one person, no matter how badly I wish to. I am made to be used. I am made to be torn. I made to make others happy. I made to be alone