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Dangerous Idols
I still see him, though many years have passed
Some have forgotten him, worth no trouble
Me, I think of him often since he's been gone.
None know I think of him, I'm far too subtle
If they knew, they'd surely tell me not to.
'He was a bad man', they'd say. 'Not a good mentor'
'Did things you were too young to notice him do'.
Or, 'Why even care? He's not here anymore'.
I know he was not a good example,
But at least he was there, although scarce.
I wish I could get others to fathom
The shame that still comes from betraying him.
Because there are those days I'm not sad
For losing this dangerous man called Dad.
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The different and contrasting feelings that come from losing someone you're not quite sure you should miss.