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Letting Him Go
I stand at the edge of the pond
The fake sand between my toes
I watch the fish under the water
Darting to and fro
I’m fingering the smooth, round beads
That rest in my pocket
No longer attached
To his beautiful locket
I remember when he gave it to me
The week before he left
It had his picture in it
It was a special gift
I didn’t know then
That that would be the last time we would talk
He didn’t me he was moving
When I found out I was shocked
We were here at the pond
Standing on the dock
Our bodies close together
Our fingers interlocked
His face was sad
There was pain in his eyes
I tried to get him to talk
But he wouldn’t tell me why
He pressed the necklace in my hand
And kissed me goodbye
Little did I know
It would be for a long time
I’m jolted to reality
As a man drives past
In his little golf cart
Going kind of fast
I pull the broken locket out
Along with all the beads
His picture is still inside
I open it, so I can see
It’s been almost two years
Since he left me that night
I haven’t seen or heard from him
It’s almost as if he died
It still hurts sometimes
How could he just leave?
Does he still remember?
Does he still think of me?
I know that it’s ridiculous
To still hope
I know I need to move on
To just let him go
But it’s so hard
Because he was a big part of my life
He was one of the people
Who held me while I cried
But where is he now
As the tears run down my face?
He is nowhere to be found
Lost without a trace
I take a deep breath
Snap the locket closed
Wrap it in my fist
And reel back for a throw
I feel myself hesitate, but only for a second
The beads and the heart sail through the air
I hear them hit the water, making soft plopping sound
And suddenly I’m scared
What if he comes back?
Will he be mad?
I know I shouldn’t care
But still it makes me sad
The tears fall faster
I feel like my heart’s being ripped out
I know I need to walk away
And just let the past drown
But it’s so hard
Because everything I see—
No matter what it is—
Always brings back a memory
But this is the first step
To letting him go
I don’t know what’s next
Only time can show
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