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Sunless
January 8, 2015
Somewhere in the world
It's shining with glee and cheer
Why won't it shine here
© Steve S., Marblehead, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 6 comments.
CynthiaFeathers ELITE said...
on Jan. 13 2015 at 6:20 pm
Short but sweet. I love it!
kennedyshine PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 11 2015 at 6:31 pm
Really nice, the flow is flawless. I don't know how long you worked on this to make it as good as it is but its one of the best I've seen in a while.
Thank you so much! I enjoy receiving constructive criticism! I didn't give your haiku enough praise though! It's really good and like you said about mine, the image represents the haiku very well! Nice job being #2! Your haiku totally with no doubt deserves it! ; )
MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Jan. 11 2015 at 12:55 pm
Well done! The first line conveys mysteriousness, the second gives off a feeling of hope, and the third just plummets all of that to a different level of emotions- in a good way. The picture also represents this haiku beautifully. The only thing I'd do personally, would be to merge the last line with the previous ones. Something like "something that's not here" would have been my preferred choice, but everyone's different. This is a great haiku and definitely deserves to be in the daily top voted haikus!
22 articles 35 photos 59 comments
Favorite Quote:
"You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." -Dita Von Teese