I step out onto the stage alone with my own weak confidence
I skip from one pooled spotlight to another
My stereotypical black formal dress sways with each step like a new spring flower in a breeze
I stand facing my judge with as much pose and formality as an overexcited puppy
After stating my name and musical piece, I take my place at the wooden bench of the first grand piano I have ever touched
Breath in and out
This is what I tell myself as an ineffective way to let the electric shocks finish their marathon along my nerves.
1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and
I count to myself seeing each notes time and place
My hands hover over the ivory keys for a few seconds
The beginning is easily the hardest part of my performance as I try to simultaneously choreography my shaky hands and the smoothness of the music
Suddenly the slow melody plays out with me being unaware
1 and
Instantly my mind has forgotten everything
Instead my fingers flys over the frosted keys as if their sparrows soar through the skies
2 and
As the movement crescendos
My confidence phrase by phrase is returning and by the climax of the song I have a new found excitement
3 and
The notes float in the air like an astronaut dancing with ballerinas in the stars
Together they clash
Together they sing
4 and
I know the song, each movement, each change in tone
And with the ending comes a feeling of accomplishment
With the ritardando of the music comes my freedom from my roaring nerves and uncertain feelings
So I count
1 and…
2 and…
3 and…
4 and…