Our story. That’s the tear jerker.
The real hurtle.
This is what bites.
This is something I can’t fight.
I always miss you at night.
Waiting for a text.
To tell me it’s alright.
But, that won’t come.
Even as the day is done.
Because, maybe I messed up.
But I wasn’t the only one.
Why can’t this just be done.
I miss you.
And that’s an understatement.
How about your omission has left the neon sign in my soul spelling vacant.
Recant.
I don’t mean to be so dramatic.
I’m trying to avoid being a problematic feelings fanatic.
And I don’t know why I always flinch at “I love you’s” in every poem because I fell like it’s a misuse,
Of heart to heart passion.
As if it is something you needed to ration.
I feel my head spinning.
My humanity is crashing down on me.
If I had broken arm at least I’d know it would heal.
But, you depleted my dopamine and over I’ll keel. 
I’m a conscience-stricken, guilt ridden penitent.
For losing control of the train and letting you walk right in front of it.
You were my best friend.
Not just a chemical.
More than a character in my story that’s polemical.
I hate you.
That was reaction formation.
Instead of appreciation I seek a more satisfying sensation,
To hold to you.
I curse the day I met you.
Let you.
Into my head, so you could pull away the curtains to see that life doesn’t suck.
You got me unstuck.
I am excelling.
My mom’s eyes are swelling,
With pride.
And if only you could see.
You can’t.
Because, I let my past mistakes cost me.