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If is me, I am If
She looks like me
She can’t be me
She lives only in my head but i cannot evict her
She has made my brain her home by taking my inner thoughts and weaving them into the quilts that keep her warm at night
Her name is If
I tell them that her child like nature is building blocks in my memories
Her toys and games cover and suppress everything I have come to know
She doesn’t clean up her toys
If only fights battles that she knows she can win
She fights within my conscious and she gains advantage by knowing my weakness
She kills all my best soldiers and leaves there bodies on the battle field
She wins
If is If because she tells me “What if?”
If is in my head
If is me
I am If
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I have suffered greatly from anxiety and I was inspired to write this poem based on how I feel she looks like in my mind. Within embarrassing my anxiety it helps me to over come and cope and I hope it does the same to others who experience the same type of troubles.