He stakes his depression out
Like a lawn flamingo
One of the ones you only see in cartoons

Everyone sees it
The flaking paint,
Once-pink body fading into grey
It's been out in the rain one night too many

no one wants to acknowledge it
They dance around the topic if they're brave enough
But even though there are flamingos everywhere
No one talks about them

If you stay quiet long enough
You can hear it in between his words
The stillness in his body
The overwhelming underwhelm

It ebbs and flows
A tide out of his control
Some days you can see him behind his eyes
Some days all you can do is hope he sees you

I’m no Poseidon
No merrymaker, no miracle-worker
All I can do is watch him get beat against the shore
And hope to god he comes back again

Spaghetti tastes like complacency
Canned questions tossed onto the table
To be ignored,
In favor of the lit screens of phones

There are too many spaces in between words
If you read in between the lines,
There's nothing there
But grief

Numb.
Numb acceptance.
Because what else can you do
But accept the pre-packaged apologies and endless casseroles

He's everywhere
The pieces of him you thought you hated
Slowly but surely
You forget how he smelled
forget how he looked in his police uniform when he had just returned home

You cannot reach into the jaws of death
And pick your father from in between the teeth