I’m lost for words as I watch you walk away
Maybe this is how love is like the heavy summer rain, hail which pounds against my window pane but this truly greater than the excruciating pain as I realize you honestly know how make me go insane
I used to say that you shined so bright like the moon, but I soon learned that you have phases too, change after change and it seemed as if you pushed yourself away more day by day
I’m not okay and maybe that really is the truth
I try denying the fact that our youth has nothing to do with me and you but you acted so much like a child that I felt stupid for loving you
Maybe when the sun shines one beautiful day, you’ll ask yourself what actually happened to us and you’ll question why you didn’t stay
I want something more than a simple relationship because a relationship doesn’t mean that commitment will be present and such a label doesn’t mean that much if such loyalty isn’t truly meant to be and maybe that was the issue with you and me
You wanted the world when I only had a state
You wanted months when I craved for years and our fate was so unfortunate that I couldn’t simply grasp onto it
I miss so many things about us
Not you, just us
But the level of misplaced trust and lost months was enough for me to say that I couldn’t keep trying if you weren’t going to do the same
I thought I hated you but it’s so far from that and if I could replace those three words with ones more kind maybe I’d be able to go back and change your mind as I begged and pleaded for you to understand how I was so weightless when you grasped onto my hand, you always knew what to do on my darkest of days but I don’t know how much longer I’m able to say that you’re the one that I wished to marry one day
You make me feel so breathless and some days it depends on the feeling
Some days I see your face and I never knew beauty so true could be in someone so cruel to my heart and mind but others seem like a punch in the stomach and I’m unable to catch my air so I just give up because without you I don’t know how to try
I’m supposed to be able to love on my own and not just other people but myself as well
Your love stings like the bees in the spring and I sound absolutely crazy for saying I didn’t care if I had to bleed as I held onto the thorns of your so innocent rose which you planted at our feet
I want to move on so easy, but how can I do that if I’m still unable to breathe.