The whole idea of it makes me feel like I’m falling.
I was at the top of a house of cards
Each card fragile, relying on the other.
I put my trust in them, I didn’t trust them!
That day I sat up on my pyramid feeling strong for the first time.
Not fearing what would happen but taking in the view

They tell me not to get too comfortable
They tell me I am brave.
I feel brave not because I was told but because I am
The ability to look past my situation and live the life I’ve always wanted
They tell me to be ready to get up and leave everything
I know I have nothing to leave going from home to home
Barging in
Taking food
Using up money, and then forgotten as if I was never there
All they see me as is a bonus in their paycheck
I’m not going from home to home
I’m going from house to house

But now I sit atop my house
My house of cards
The bottom of the pile is hope for the future
To get out of the continuous reminder that I don’t have a family
A family
Such a funny word
What is a family?
Those you’re related to?
Those who you live with?
Those who pay for you?
Family is different for everyone
Family for me is me
My mom and me
I know she’s not here
Yet I feel her in the breeze that runs through my hair tickling my scalp
Tickling my scalp the way she had braiding my hair before kindergarten.
The thought of it makes me happy.
I feel her gentle loving hand caress my face
She tells me she loves me and I smile

This is the beginning of my trail to forgiveness
I started to think.
Think of the past and think of my possibilities in the future
I forgave the world for the things I had to go through
I forgave myself
They led me through life those possibilities.
The idea that tomorrow was coming made today worth it.
They were the bird to my exploration
The light to my tunnel of torment
I dreamed of them at night trying my hardest to wake up and actually have that dream be reality

It seems almost yesterday I sat on my house of cards feeling the breeze in my hair
It seems almost yesterday I lay in my bed dreaming of the future
I look back at that little girl inside me and thank her
Because without her strength I wouldn’t be who I am today.