you’re yelling again

like a troubled child
I embrace myself
grasping shoulder blade handles
securing an
elbow forearm shield
an X across my spastic heart
to block out your harsh expressions of
love

you hate me, don’t you!
(Do I?)
distressed skin
crinkles around wide eyes
devouring your wild ones

I’m screaming NO
I LOVE YOU
murdering the stupid phrase
I’ve become a haphazard skulptor
carving into your delicate heart
I forget my power
and you crumple
(I’m sorry.)
as I hate you
for loving me
as though I’m slipping away

(I’m not.)

(I’m just tired of empty yelling and iloveyous.)