What is this feeling of hopelessness
endlessly consuming me
without any hesitation
as if i am nothing but an empty space of matter.
It follows me around
everywhere,
like a shadow.
To the party,
to my school,
to the mall.
It even sabotaged my only safe place,
home
my home.

Sometimes it is quiet and doesn't make a sound.
Other times it screams so loud that i struggle to breathe.
And in those times,i can only pretend to be deaf.
But it is never gone.

What makes it worse is thr fact that
it is invisible
to everyone else.

How can you not see?
Isn't obvious?

Can't you see my body
trembling
as it drags me back
to the pitch black hell?
Can't you hear my painful screams,
so loud?

Or maybe you just don't want to see,
you don't want to notice,
you don't want to help.
Or perhaps you just do not care.

So you left me
in this nightmare,
to defend for myself.

But what you do not know is that,
this is a war that i have already lost
a million times.