i remember how it hurt, to see you hurt

hearing your voice crack

as your mind searched

wishing i could take your past back

with my words. 

hating the way your smile faded

and your eyes saddened 

wishing you could see how far you've made it

knowing your thoughts were hard to fathom.

wishing i could have been there

when the numbness took over 

and all you could do was stare

not even able to cry

or shed a tear.

as if the world was crashing down

and you felt like screaming

but couldn't make a sound

and all you thought about was leaving.

i want you to be happy

with deep, 3 am conversations 

you laughing

your smile lighting up the worlds darkness.

wishing words could justify

the way i crave to be what you desire

wishing i were enough for you to live by 

wanting to be light in your eyes, the fire.