I strive for perfection.
To be something you weren’t, something you’ll never be.
You picked and chose, you grab and took all the best memories like a dog stealing scraps
You carried them at your side in the hope that I’d return to you.
You can have them. I don't want them.
Take them to the forgotten land.
I wasted ten years of my life striving, crying, and dying to be someone good enough for you.
Hoping I’d be enough in the hopes that you'd want to take back leaving me.
But god doesn’t work that way. And I sit here and ponder why in the hell would i even want to have you back into my life? You left me intentionally!
You knew you’d leave me but that didn’t matter to your selfish mind! Did it?
I kept lying to myself for years on end saying you were just troubled.
Oh yeah you were troubled alright.
And because I spent so much time worrying about you and getting the wrong attention, i turned into you. I purely hated myself and I could never figure why this feelings were so strong until i noticed what I felt for myself, I was manifesting what I thought you thought of me.
I mean if I was good enough you wouldn't of left right? Right?
I mean surely this s*** isn't genetic right? Why won't anyone give me a straight answer?
I all get are worried looks from familiar faces
All around me, from all the wrong places