It spreads through my arms like a forest fire

Burning everything in sight

Spreading hotter than an August night in Texas

Burning through my nerves, dulling my senses

But I know it hurts

This surface of searing, excruciating pain

Is welcome

As long as it continues to cover

The pain I feel inside

The pain I cannot hide

It creeps past my soul and deep within my very being

Creates a stable home where it will return

Tomorrow and the day after that

To slice open my veins

Slither through my organs

Bury itself inside

The biggest giant I've ever faced

Burning through my head, my darkest, deepest nightmare

Causing heavy tears to jaggedly fall

It hurts

The pain held within me

The pain no-one seems to see

The ferocious sound of rushing waves in my ears

The wonderful feeling of pain no-one has given me

Pain I have given myself

But when I can finally move my arm again

Can finally write decent, dry poetry

And the redness seeps away

The shock of it all hits me

The scars remain

The internal pain whirls back, scarier than ever before

The blood is my own

My head is dizzy spinning

My tummy is crazy churning

My lungs are helplessly trying

To scream

To let someone know that

I am not okay

My heart is foolishly hoping

Maybe, one day

Maybe the blood of Jesus can wash my pain away