Walking the dog with my head doing cartwheels.

Missing my new found love Sam,

who's acting weird and distant.

There goes another one.

Oh well.

Nothing I can really do.

I am just not loveable.

Looking up at the droplets landing cold on my forehead,

I see.

I see a tower of a tree.

An oak to be exact.

Feeling diminutive underneath this beast.

Dropping my dogs leash, tell him to leave me, head home baby.

I watch his puzzled face turn around to obey his commands.

I walk submissively under the giant, still staring, watching, waiting for something,

waiting,

waiting for god knows what.

Maybe anything.

Maybe thunder, lighting to cast it's anger down upon my tattered body.

Maybe.

Or maybe a sign from our Father,

who could give me a sign, tell me what he wants me to do.

Or help me.

The droplets fall faster.

My feet won't move.

As I stand in the penetrating water I wish, hope, that the water will somehow wash away some pain.

Pain.

Seems to be a default emotion for me lately.

I have fallen deeper in that damn black hole, been in this place for so long I have become fatigued at the constant struggle to keep my head over water.

Mind, soul, and body ready to give up.

Will I give in to the pleading of myself?

Or is that too pittiful?

Do I care anymore?

I have no f***ing clue.

It could be Gods sign telling me I can leave this polluted place.

It could be the deppression.

Once again.

I haven't got any answers, but I have all the questions.

Funny how that works.