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red eyes MAG

March 9, 2015
By Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
More by this author
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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the lenses
on her glasses
are so thick, i wonder if
she wants me to see her red eyes.

© Anthony R., Wilmington, MA

The author's comments:

I'm currently in a bit of pain.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 35 comments.

Lysander PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 13 2015 at 9:32 am
Lysander PLATINUM, Bangalore, Other
40 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
I slay.

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Luv ur work @Amai-kun !!!! So short and yet so meaningful.....I'm still marveling about your wonderful poetic sense.
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 6 2015 at 12:34 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
It's actually just the way I write (with large spaces) because I personally dislike small spaces. But obviously, that's just one of my strange idiosyncrasies. Thank you very much for commenting, and I'm glad people are getting the message.
JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 3 2015 at 8:50 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, &#039;I just don&#039;t care.&#039;?&quot;

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I love how powerful this is, and how short! Short poems with depth are just the best. I'm not not sure whether I like the big spaces between lines or not, but that's just my personal preference - the message is wonderful and this is absolutely awesome.
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Apr. 3 2015 at 7:34 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,<br /> More real than solid earth;<br /> And to these death does not mean decay,<br /> But only another birth" <br /> - Isabella Banks

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Your effort and quality definitely shows :) Great job!
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 3 2015 at 1:26 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
Thank you very much, Liv. I try my best, and I'm glad it paid off.
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Apr. 3 2015 at 1:19 am
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,<br /> More real than solid earth;<br /> And to these death does not mean decay,<br /> But only another birth" <br /> - Isabella Banks

View profile
This poem is one that hits you in a very definite, mind blowing way. I can see her eyes, red from some cause; sleep deprivation, pink-eye, crying.. Your word choice leaves us wondering what is going on, and I like that :) Well done!
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 2 2015 at 9:53 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
Thank you, April. I'm very glad you enjoyed this.
AprilNicoleJones BRONZE said...
on Apr. 2 2015 at 10:22 am
AprilNicoleJones BRONZE, New Castle, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I write only because<br /> there is a voice within me<br /> that will not be still.&quot;<br /> ~ SYLVIA PLATH<br /> <br /> (MY FORMER ACCOUNTS: Icantwrite &amp; Punk.Snowflake)<br /> Published poems from my former accounts:<br /> - FRAIL HOPE (Icantwrite)<br /> - YOURSELF (Punk.Snowflake)

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This is really, really good. So short and simple, but so powerful. The message here is definitely one of pain and sadness. Very well conveyed. I like it. :)
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 6:38 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
Thank you *hugs back* This poem actually came from mutual sad feelings with a friend, though I've been feeling much better recently. I'm also doing my best to keep her afloat. Thank you again, both for the comment and the good wishes.
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 1 2015 at 1:17 pm
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM, Anytown, Iowa
44 articles 2 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Nothing is impossible. The word itself says &#039;I&#039;m Possible&#039;&quot;

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Wow, I absolutely love this, and I'm really impressed at you skill. This is really good, and I hope you feel better saloon. Here's a TI hug for you ((((((you)))))))
gracefulwaters SILVER said...
on Mar. 19 2015 at 6:13 pm
gracefulwaters SILVER, Paris, Other
8 articles 1 photo 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
- Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand ... and melting like a snowflake. -- Ray<br /> - Don&rsquo;t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. -- Chekhov

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It is obvious, but I wasn't sure if that was the intention. I just wanted to make sure this is exactly how you wanted it to be. :)
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 19 2015 at 3:05 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
I did actually want the last line to be fluid, but if that's not obvious, I should fix it. Thank you very much for your critique.
gracefulwaters SILVER said...
on Mar. 18 2015 at 5:06 pm
gracefulwaters SILVER, Paris, Other
8 articles 1 photo 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
- Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand ... and melting like a snowflake. -- Ray<br /> - Don&rsquo;t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. -- Chekhov

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This is good. I like the choppiness. It adds to the overall tone of the poem. One thing though, the last line seems very long in comparison to the other three so I think maybe you should split it up. Unless you want the last line to be more fluid and less choppy. In general, I really like this.
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 16 2015 at 7:22 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

View profile
Actually, this one is quite literal, but I like that interpretation. Poetry should always make us think of fantastical things.
BreeZephyr SILVER said...
on Mar. 16 2015 at 10:11 am
BreeZephyr SILVER, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
7 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him...it&#039;s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.&rdquo; - Orson Scott Card, Ender&#039;s Game

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Whoa, that's intense. Not quite sure if I understand it, exactly, but I assume that the poem denotes the dark, burning nature of someone's character, while the thick glasses project innocence, but it's only an illusion...Nice work on this poem! :)