I can’t

I can’t

I … just can’t

I can’t continue this way

Haven’t you?

Haven’t you ever?

Haven’t you ever felt this way?

Imagine it.

Imagine it right now.

The way that you feel when everything falls to pieces.

The way that you feel when people ask about college.

The way that you feel when you know that everything is coming.

And it’s coming so fast.

I haven’t lost anything  - at least, not yet.

But then again, I don’t seek anything either.

I just want … now.

Now, where I’m surrounded by friends.

Now, where I’m content with just being.

Now, where I don’t feel the pressure.

The terrifying pressure that I didn’t ask for,

That I don’t even want,

That’s slowly prying its way in.

Into my sanity.

The voices of 1,000 people suddenly growing claws and latching onto my person like a

Black,

Monstrous

Cancer

Bleeding me dry for every ounce of certainty I have left.

I’m going crazy.

Or maybe not.

I don’t really know.

I haven’t lost or gained,

I haven’t looked or pursued.

I’m in a pool of uncertainty now,

Slowly dissolving within it.

But, right now, I just …

Can’t.