The Colleague | Teen Ink

The Colleague

February 13, 2015
By ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)



I'm sorry, I don't remember you, what was your name? Funny how you can't remember who I am yet you were my world at one point.
An introduction wil sufice, my name is sea, yours must be moon because I'm steady drawn to you while you taunt me with your perfection.
bless me with the smile I'm used to and I may give you the carress of which you've been forgetting so it may jog your memory.
Do you still not recognize me? Perhaps a slight lock of the lips... Welcome back love, I've missed you far too much.
If only life were as simple as the above described, maybe then I might see her. The soul of a butterfly, the heart of a pheonix, yet a love with the strength of a thousand hearts.
She is my counterpart, a taboo to none but I, She.. the... god. My goddess of whom I've been missing. I welcome her with an open heart and a spacious view of her love.
I get on my knees in worship of my goddess, only to thank the lord for her. My personal blessing and I shall pay homage to her every chance I get.
To hold her, you can't imagine. She's the warmth of the sun, the sweetness of a black cherry, the softness of fresh picked cotton, yet ironically as cool as a glass of ice water to one parched and decrepit.
I'm in love, no, yes, no. What's the conflict? Why does it matter?
Am I not a the earth? Is she not a moon to me, or beter yet, an extension of my personal self? She satisfies the need for intimacy better than those before her and yet I can't think straight. Is this supposed to happen?
Mutual love. What I needed, she provided like a mother and child. Yet we're still at a disconnect.
She said we're romeo and juliet, did she not see the ending? or did that tell all I needed to know? I think not. She was a representation of what the heart wants, and the heart wants what it wants.
Sugar brown placid beauty, rest your head once more on my shoulders as we rest in a sunset meant for the long-hall and discuss what is meant to be of our distantly close relationship.
Pray we make it and kiss me goodbye, for when all is said and done no games shall we play but still bet it all against the odds.
Do you remember me? Nevermind colleague, we are in a multi-verse all our own.


The author's comments:

It's been out for a bit, but I was offering to make love poems for people and it didn't catch much steam. So, anyone who's seen this, this is what I am capable of.


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This article has 14 comments.


on Sep. 22 2015 at 9:52 am
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

thx emma lol I usually free-verse, so I forget about structure, rhyme-scheme and beat, but I like it to flow lol thank ya for reading and duly noted

on Sep. 12 2015 at 8:18 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I really loved the figurative language in this poem. The moon and sea comparison totally created so much depth. It was great. If anything, I think you should rearrange the poem into lines and stanzas. For me, poetry has a beat or a flow to it. When you put it all together as a run on then I don't get that flow. Other than that this is phenomenal.

on Jun. 7 2015 at 6:00 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

thx XD glad you enjoyed it and merci for reading ^.^

on Jun. 7 2015 at 11:20 am
Luv4Ever SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
A miracle is just another name for hard work<br /> -Minho in &quot;To The Beautiful You&quot;

This is great! Once again I love your use of metaphors an i agree with soul that this could definitely be made into a story. i love your writing and the feelings it conveys and the way your words flow together like a soft caress. great job!

on May. 19 2015 at 9:43 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don&#039;t acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

Thx lol thank you for reading XD and glad you enjoyed it

on May. 19 2015 at 5:58 pm
BoobooBeetle DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
74 articles 1 photo 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.&rdquo;<br /> G.K. Chesterton<br /> <br /> &quot;And you, you ridiculous people, you expect me to help you.&quot; <br /> Denis Johnson

Wow, not much to say since everyone else has already said it. I've noticed after a while that we tend to sometimes write our best pieces after something we ourselves can connect to, it makes the readers love the character. This is absolutely amazing and honestly, I think you could expand this into a short story of some sort. Great job! XD

on May. 5 2015 at 2:39 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don&#039;t acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

thank ya XD and yes, they do lol

on May. 4 2015 at 4:58 pm
Amara-rose GOLD, Pendleton, Indiana
16 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let go and live.

I love this which should no be a surprise for my other comments confer you have tremendous talent

on Apr. 20 2015 at 11:02 am
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don&#039;t acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

Thanks, lost. Lol it's a pleasure writing for ya :)

dya.o PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 20 2015 at 10:10 am
dya.o PLATINUM, Milton, Florida
43 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If consensus is overrated, I think balance is, too.<br /> I have no interest in living a balanced life.<br /> I want a life of adventure.&rdquo; | Chris Guillebeau

@ThePoeticJustice I love this. The comparisons you use are beautiful, especially the way you described the woman in the poem. I, for one, actually like the repetition you used at the end. It made it seem more forlorn, like you were thinking back on a memory. Overall, amazing job! You're a talented poet!

on Mar. 28 2015 at 4:01 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don&#039;t acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

thank you lol glad you liked it :)

Redolvene GOLD said...
on Mar. 28 2015 at 9:29 am
Redolvene GOLD, Sunny, Florida
10 articles 1 photo 33 comments
I love how beautifully poetic your poem is. The ending is especially well-done. You have a gift for writing and I look forward to reading more of your work! :)

on Mar. 1 2015 at 7:26 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don&#039;t acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

thank you, and thanks for reading :)

on Mar. 1 2015 at 4:22 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
Hey. I've been asked to critique your poems and I shall try to do so fairly and positively. I think, within this poem, there is some great imagery and comparisons. You use some intriguing word-play and I really like the idea of the moon calling the sea. The talk of goddesses and forgetting was very interesting. Having said this, this piece is a little too long-winded and by the end is repetitive. You repeat some points, expressing your love further, but there is only a certain amount of description you can put in one piece. I think as separate poems, this might work. At points, I'm a little confused where this piece is going and what is happening, but I'm sure if you edited it further, it would make a little more sense. Sometimes, you need someone else to look at your piece in order to realise that it doesn't quite make sense because, to the writer, it may make perfect sense, but to someone else, it might be confusing. Overall, this is a very intriguing piece and I think you have a lot of potential as a writer. Please don't take any of my criticisms badly, I'm just trying to give you solid feedback. Keep writing!