My Gramma is dying.

I can't quite contemplate what I am feeling at the moment, so knowing me I'll write about it.

We were never really close granted she lives so far away and she can't remember my age to save her life, but that doesn't matter because I love her.

She's my Dad's mom.

Her faded red hair just like my sisters.

So beautiful.

Her hands so fragile and soft.

God I just want to hug her.

One last time.

My vision blurs as tears roll down my face.

I think the most painful part of this is knowing that shes going to die, but not knowing when.

So with each passing minute the pain swells higher in my chest.

Not that you'd ever tell.

Not that I dare admit I'm in pain.

I just hold my head high while the swelling aches in my chest.

Sometimes I phyiscally get heart burn from holding it in.

That's ok.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Wrong.

I'm still as weak as I was before.

So pathetic.

Wollowing in self pitty.

If, I mean when she passes, I hope it's peaceful and painless.

She never deserved any pain.

She deserves to live up in the clouds with grampa.

Maybe she'll watch destroy everything around me.

Let's hope she cloeses her eyes for that.

Well I guess I can just hope she'll be there in a few days when I come to see her.

Stay strong gramma.

Fight a little longer.

Please.