under the cute exterior I fell in love with
lies a beast of anger.
he rarely shows himself
but when he does, tears burn my eyes
and I don’t know what to say.
I’m used to you;
the cute and sensitive man who brushes my hair
gently massages my back
and lovingly kisses my forehead.
I wish I could tame him
be the reason that anger subsides
and is diminished once and for all.
but it seems that won’t happen
if anything, I’m more of a cause than a cure.
I can’t contain the hurt I fell
as you can’t control the anger aimed towards me
when I step too far, without realizing.
I try and forget the feeling
to cover it with the memory of good times
of laughter and smiles and butterflies in my stomach.
but it doesn’t work,
I’m hurt by the way I can make you feel,
the way I can bring out a part of you that’s so
uncommon.
I hate how I feel
in these moments of weakness
because a man with the self control you possess
can’t help but yell at me for what I didn’t know I’d done wrong.
It hurts my heart,
my self confidence, my feelings.
how could the man I sleep with, the man who touches me tenderly
and looks at me with intense love and emotion,
make me feel the way I do after you’ve raised your voice
and given me that stern look that brought
heat to my eyes
in the form of tears.