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Frostbite

October 20, 2014
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
More by this author
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

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Lately, the chilled autumn air seeping in from the window
has kept me up at night—pouring loneliness
into my empty chest

 

(generous portions for every gasp)
and I exhale nostalgia.

 

God, I've become so acutely aware of the chasm between me

 

and them

 

and of how my fingers skim the collarbones of everyone
that I push away: "Stay there," I say. Arms length. Perfect.

 

Teasing myself with superficiality
and nothing more.

 

It's just that—oh, I can see it clearly:

 

How easy it would be to leap into their arms;
To look someone straight in the eye without flinching:
No apologies for existing.

 

I walk so lightly,
breathe so shallowly.

 

Talk so quietly—

 

Do you even know I'm here?
Or have you already had the funeral...

 

The fire inside me has dulled to an ember,
and I don't want to become coals.

 

Yet I can't help but scatter at the slightest intimacy:
ashes in the wind,
cremated before my time.

 

See, these arms ache with solitude, and I might die.
Tell them it's frostbite.

 

It's so cold tonight.

 

Jesus Christ, it's just that—
I can't remember how it feels to be truly

 

seen.

© Jessica M., West Bloomfield, MI

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 30 comments.

Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Jul. 17 2015 at 11:40 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
Thank you :)
L.J.Barnes. GOLD said...
on Jun. 24 2015 at 10:29 pm
L.J.Barnes. GOLD, Powhatan, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
Avoid roasted cabbage, don&#039;t eat earwax and look on the bright side of life!<br /> ~Angela the Herbalist

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Wow, this is good. Reading this made me feel half a million scattered thoughts that somehow made sense and were perfectly formed in great structure... I really love your syntax, or at least I think its called syntax... Great job!
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Mar. 7 2015 at 5:14 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
you're awesome!
Beila BRONZE said...
on Mar. 4 2015 at 11:04 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.&quot; -Mark Twain

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Wow. You've captured this fragile glimmer peeking out from inside someone's soul, and you've flawlessly depicted it in writing. Your tone, both through words and line breaks, consistently stole my breath away in this poem. You have such a gift. Your writing makes an impact.
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Feb. 22 2015 at 1:02 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
That means so much to me, thank you :) Have a wonderful day.
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Feb. 22 2015 at 1:01 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

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thanks, moe :) I love tumblr so best compliment ev
JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 17 2015 at 10:15 am
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, &#039;I just don&#039;t care.&#039;?&quot;

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This, just...I love this SO much, you don't even know - unfathomably amazing... I do relate to this, as I'm sure many can, the idea of pushing people away, but wanting to be held... This blew me away, sorry if my thoughts don't make sense, I really don't have the words to explain how much this impacted me. Thank you so much for writing this, you sincerely have a gift :)
Mckay ELITE said...
on Feb. 16 2015 at 8:46 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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I've told myself over and over (and over and over) that I would binge-read your work and go over it. But GAH procrastination! Yet, some waits are worthwhile. This poem is fitting for me to read today considering the frost weather around here. The images and wording compliment each other perfectly. A lot of the lines (I feel it's not fair to the artist as much) but they're inspiring/meaningful/mind-effing poetry quotes you see on Tumblr. This poem is officially a favorite from you. It's captivating, raw, emotional, and...chilly... :P Well done, pimp.
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Feb. 16 2015 at 2:13 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
Wow, thank you so much! I remember I used to read your work all the time, so coming from you that means a lot. :)
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Feb. 16 2015 at 2:12 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
gosh, thanks :P I appreciate it :)
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Feb. 16 2015 at 2:11 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
thank you soo much
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 10 2015 at 7:38 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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I am reading this for the fifth time or so, and although it makes me sad I never get tired of it. Beautiful.
.king. SILVER said...
on Feb. 7 2015 at 7:27 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡&deg;)

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Gosh, I admire your poetic skills.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 24 2015 at 1:24 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Never fear shadows. They simply mean there&#039;s a light shining somewhere nearby.&quot; - Unknown

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Hey girl! It's really nice to read some of your work after so long. Let me just say right now that I bet this will be published. (: The metaphor slipping in and out just left my fingers itching for more. I absolutely looooove the spacing you chose as well. I love when people experiment with spacing! This is a really interesting poem, gosh, probably a favorite for me. I'm impressed, girl. Nice job. (:
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Jan. 10 2015 at 4:52 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
thanka ya :)
Scarlett_the_pegacorn BRONZE said...
on Jan. 8 2015 at 2:34 pm
Scarlett_the_pegacorn BRONZE, Niceville, Florida
4 articles 24 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t tell me how to live my life; I do what I want.

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You've def still got "it". Whatever "it" is. But regardless of what it is, your writing is fantabulous, girlie. ^-^
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Jan. 5 2015 at 2:46 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
You mean on here...? Don't have any. You could email me once in a blue moon tho XD
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER said...
on Jan. 2 2015 at 10:47 pm
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER, Lawrenceville, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont let people drive u crazy if you know its in walking distance

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yeahhhhhhhhhh.
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Nov. 25 2014 at 11:52 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
Forums? :P
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER said...
on Nov. 25 2014 at 3:35 pm
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER, Lawrenceville, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont let people drive u crazy if you know its in walking distance

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send me a link to one of your forums or something man