I’m broken. I’m chipped.
I’m missing a piece, that I cant ever find again.
That I cant ever replace.
But that's okay.
Because it was the devil in disguise.
To lose that piece would be a blessing.
It was silently destroying me anyway.
That shameful piece was oblivion.
The oblivion that hid pain and truth from me.
It created a Utopian reality that masked darkness and brutality.
It made me believe that everything was alright.
It tricked me by reassuring me.
Don’t worry everything happens for a reason
Don’t worry everything is in gods plan.
Don’t worry.
It fooled me. It played me so well.
I was ignorant enough to believe ignorance was actually bliss.
I was ignorant enough to believe that oblivion was actually bliss.
But then it hits you.
Enough to knock you down and keep you there.
All of it, the truth, the pain, the horror of it all comes towards you full force.
Soon you are swallowed with that unbearable realization.
It was never real.
You have played the devils game, and you have lost.
And do you know what the loser gets?
Stripped of oblivion.
Now you are bare.
exposed to cruelty.
exposed to everything that was hid from you.
You cant handle it.
Its too much.
You are falling apart dangerously.
Everything you once knew was a lie
Now you must spend the rest of your miserable existence in pieces.
Trying to put yourself back together.
Trying to figure out what little truth life has to offer.
If there is any.
If there ever was any.
And then not only are you broken,
You are shattered.