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We Are Teens

June 5, 2014
By bruisedmemories ELITE, Birdsboro, Pennsylvania
More by this author
bruisedmemories ELITE, Birdsboro, Pennsylvania
109 articles 10 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;When you&#039;re young, you can fly, but we trip on clouds &#039;cause we get too high&quot; -The Band Perry (Song: Don&#039;t Let Me Be Lonely)<br /> &quot;Cause no matter what, you&#039;ll never be alone&quot; -Lady Antebellum (Song: Compass)

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We are the glass teardrops
Falling from the eerie sky
Carefully spreading our wings
As the clouds begin to cry

We are the daisies
In a gorgeous field of roses
An outcast in a world of beauty
And we will forever show it

We are the empty smiles
Plastered on a broken face
Never bothered to fulfill happiness
Even masked lies can't be chased

We are the cracked paint
Sliding down the wall
Slowly, and then all at once
As we begin our downfall

We are the lightning
After the wrath of a storm
Flashing our blindful insight
Trying to find a place in this world

We are the teenagers
Calling our names to the sky
Tripping on Earth's rotation
Because we're slowly losing our lives

© Whitney S., Norwell, MA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 9 comments.

Niyaroo PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 14 2014 at 8:24 am
Niyaroo PLATINUM, Colonial Beach, Virginia
31 articles 4 photos 69 comments
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This is really good. :) very wellt thought of.
violawritermady BRONZE said...
on Oct. 8 2014 at 2:35 am
violawritermady BRONZE, Lehi, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The true artist does not create art as an end to himself. He creates it for others; humanity is the goal.&quot; -Bronislaw Huberman

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Wow. Loved the images in this, the word choice, the length, the everything. You are an AMAZING writer and I would love to hear your thoughts on either of my poems. Thanks! :) 
candlelightwriter GOLD said...
on Oct. 6 2014 at 9:12 pm
candlelightwriter GOLD, Kirksville, Missouri
16 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Secretly we&#039;re all a little more absurd than we make ourselves out to be&quot;-- J.K. Rowling.

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I absolutely adore your last stanza. For real. Your imagery is super great, too. "We are the cracked paint, sliding down the wall." Love it. The only thing I can tell you to watch out for, is that your rhythm gets a bit off in some of your stanzas. You set up a rhythm, how I think the stanza is going to go with your first two lines, and then often your next two lines that follow have a few too many syllables and trip up the rhyme scheme and flow of the poem. I think just choosing some more concise words and adjectives would do the trick, but overall this is a really solid poem. You have some really good things working for you, I just feel like in some lines you could tighten up the language. Great ideas and great imagery, though. I'll be looking out for other stuff from you.
MisJo said...
on Oct. 5 2014 at 11:47 am
MisJo, N/a, Other
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
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wow this is really good, I absolutely love it!! :) xx
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 29 2014 at 11:10 am
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

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Wow. Amazing. This is powerful and just ... all in all, aboslutely WONDERFUL. It's so powerful. Your poem hit me; I can connect to it, a lot. I love it. You have such a talent and greatness in you; know that and believe that, because you do. You really do. Please, never give up. Thank you, thank you so much for shring this. :)
JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 28 2014 at 12:24 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

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Absolutely amazing :)
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Sep. 27 2014 at 11:47 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,<br /> More real than solid earth;<br /> And to these death does not mean decay,<br /> But only another birth" <br /> - Isabella Banks

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This is OUTSTANDING! The flowing lines and excellent rhyming patterns really fit into this poem! The meaning is really sad, but really powerful, and great. I could feel this deep inside, and the last line really hit home. I cannot express how wonderful this lamentation is, so I will put it into my favorites! PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!!
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD said...
on Sep. 27 2014 at 8:12 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you wish to see in the world.&quot;

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This is fantastic. I absolutely love the easy going rhymes and the way the words just roll together. This is one of my favorite poems on this site. My only thing is that the word "blindful" just sorta feels out of place. I can't describe it, but when I read that line it just didn't sit well with me. Everything else is perfect. 
AprilNicoleJones BRONZE said...
on Sep. 27 2014 at 7:11 pm
AprilNicoleJones BRONZE, New Castle, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I write only because<br /> there is a voice within me<br /> that will not be still.&quot;<br /> ~ SYLVIA PLATH<br /> <br /> (MY FORMER ACCOUNTS: Icantwrite &amp; Punk.Snowflake)<br /> Published poems from my former accounts:<br /> - FRAIL HOPE (Icantwrite)<br /> - YOURSELF (Punk.Snowflake)

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Hi! Thanks for giving feedback on my poem, I appreciate it! First, I really like this poem. Your rhymes don't sound forced the way a lot of rhyming poems do. I also think your word choices make for very vivid discriptions. My favorite would have to be: "We are the glass teardrops/Falling from the eerie sky". That metaphor alone sounds eerie and really set the tone for the rest of the poem. Overall, the poem itself is very sad and heartbreaking, but I love it. Well done!